Bible Heaven/Bible Heaven.iso/alphon_2/7655/marriage.m05

Text File | 1992-10-29 | 19KB | 380 lines

Study No. 5                     TO THE GLORY OF GOD
                                ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
            A CHRISTIAN WOMAN - ITS EASY! - WITH A CHRISTIAN HUSBAND

        KNOW THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A COMMAND, A NEED, A BARB AND SILENCE:

        1.  You are to obey your husband's commands.   Our Lord said,  "If you
            love  Me,  keep My commandments."  (John 14:15)  God will  totally
            watch  out  for  you and either change the situation or  go  right
            through the situation with you into victory -- if you will totally
            trust  the  Lord  and if you will pray about it and  if  you  will
            submit to your husband.

        2.  You  are  to  meet your husband's need.   Ephesians  5:24  in  the
            Amplified  Bible  tells you to "adapt yourself to  your  husband's
            needs."   Prove to your husband that you love him more than anyone
            else.   Keep  watching  out for his needs and  interests  and  get
            involved.

        3.  You don't have to obey his barbs.   Because he doesn't really mean
            them.   A husband who jokingly tells you to do something,  or who,
            in  a  fit of rage,  shouts at you to do something that  would  be
            wrong  to  do,  doesn't  really intend for you  to  obey  him.  Do
            something,  but again,  if it's something that would be sin to do,
            don't do it.   Satan at that point,  may very well have control of
            his  voice.   If  he were sober,  the chances are strong  that  he
            wouldn't suggest such a thing.   However,  even in such a dreadful
            state, be as kind as possible.  Meet the needs that would not lead
            you  into  sin.   Pray quietly -- and bind the power of satan  out
            loud if you even begin to come under any danger.   But a wife  who
            has  taken  the  prayerful  and listening  time  to  discover  her
            husband's  needs,  knows  the difference between what her  husband
            says  in  an angry or whimsical moment and what he  really  means.

        4.  When  your husband is silent -- never,  never take  the  husband's
            role.  A wife is to do her part and never take the husband's role.
            She's not to make the decisions for the family, try to protect her
            husband from real responsibility or go to work to pay bills.   The
            husband can delegate authority to his wife,  but it must come from
            him.

            1  Samuel  25  tells  the story of Abigail,  the  wife  of  Nabal.
        Abigail  shows that a wife who hasn't been directly told "NO"  by  her
        husband  is not unsubmitted when she does what she feel she must do in
        the Lord,  (ie.  go to church, pay tithes, etc.)  But she does need to
        be sensitive about it!

        THE LIMITS OF SUBMISSION ARE:

        1.  No one -- not even your husband -- has the right to stop you  from
            praying.

        2.  No  one -- not even your husband -- has the right to stop you from
            studying the Bible.

            These  are  your  two sources of power (and Bible  Study  includes
            listening to anointed pastors etc.  by cassette tape at least, and
            reading helpful Christian books.)

            You'll never stop your conversation with the Father through  Jesus
            of  your obedience to God's Word for the same reason that if  your
            husband  handed  you  a gun and told you to  shoot  yourself,  you
            wouldn't obey him then because that would be suicide.  God doesn't
            expect you to commit suicide -- either physically or  spiritually.
            But  the chances of you ever hearing your husband tell you not  to
            pray  or  not study your Bible are very slim unless  you're  doing
            these things and neglecting him,  or embarrassing him,  or arguing
            with  him because of your involvement with Church and with  Jesus.
            If  you disapprove of him,  then you're going to cause him to hate
            your  view of God and want to stop that  relationship.   God  says
            obey your husband's commands and to submit to him lovingly.

        3.  A  wife  must protect her children from direct  sin.   She  cannot
            stand  by and see her husband lead the children into sin any  more
            than the husband can stand by and watch his wife lead the children
            into  direct sin.   If Cain was to be "his brother's keeper",  how
            much more are parents to watch out for their children?!

        SIX QUESTIONS EVERY WIFE NEEDS TO ASK HERSELF

        Ask:  1. Have I truly accepted my husband as he is now?

              2. Have  I honestly forgiven him for things that have  hurt  me?
                 (Mark  Twain  once said,  "Forgiveness is the  fragrance  the
                 violet spreads on the heel that has crushed it!")

              3. Have I asked God's forgiveness for my resentment, bitterness,
                 or ill-feeling toward my husband?   (If not,  pray "Create in
                 me  a clean heart,  Oh Lord,  and renew in me a right spirit"
                 even as David did in Psalm 51.)

              4. Have I accepted cleansing and forgiveness?   (Jesus has  both
                 for whoever will forgive others.)

              5. Have  I accepted God's love for my husband?   (Remember  that
                 God's love for even His enemies is a fact, not a feeling.)

              6. Will I submit to my husband?

        1 Peter 3:8-9
          "To  sum  up,   let  all  be  harmonious,   sympathetic,  brotherly,
          kindhearted,  and  humble in spirit;  not returning evil for evil or
          insult  for  insult,  but giving a blessing instead;  for  you  were
          called for the very purpose that you might inherit a blessing."

          Remember,  the  honeymoon  is  really over for sure  when  the  wife
          complains  about the noise her husband makes while he  is  preparing
          his own breakfast!!


                         HOW TO KEEP UP WITH THE PROVERBS WOMAN

        The Virtuous Woman Is An Economist.

        Proverbs 31:13,14,16,19,20,24,27.

        Acts 9:36-39.

        Use it up, wear it out, make it do, or do without!

        Philippians 4:11,12 (Amp.)

        a.  Works Willingly (Proverbs 31:13)

        b.  She  is  not afraid to make things with her hands or seek  clothes
            and materials elsewhere.  Proverbs 31:13a,19

        c.  She  has persevered in learning to make lovely  things.   Proverbs
            31:24.

        d.  You  can make money at home but it cannot get in the way  of  your
            relationship  with the Lord or your family.   Make everything  you
            can unless it's cheaper to buy or your time is more of a premium.
            Proverbs 31:24; Acts 16:14.

        e.  She plans her purchases.  Proverbs 31:14.

        f.  You don't only serve food, you serve love.  Proverbs 31:15.

        g.  Before making a purchase:  Pray about it.
                                       Have peace about it.
                                       Weigh it in your mind.
                                       Do I need it? Could I make it myself?
                                       Can we afford it?
            Proverbs 31:16.

        h.  You  don't  have to spend much money to  bless  people.   Proverbs
            31:20.

        i.  Efficiency  - use  time twice,  keep things in  repair.   Proverbs
            31:27a.

        j.  Not idle, yet relaxed.  Proverbs 31:27b.


                                THE CHRISTIAN HUSBAND
                                ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
             Understanding is a wellspring of life unto him that hath it.
                                    Proverbs 16:22
                                         -0-
        To move from the single state to the married state takes about fifteen
        minutes.   To bring about changes in habits,  outlook and other needed
        adjustments for marriage takes the rest of life.

          GOD'S WORD HAS THE FULL ANSWER TO EVERY PROBLEM IN YOUR MARRIAGE.

        John 8:31-32
        "If  you'll abide (come and live and do what God says),  then,  truly,
        you'll be a Christian and you'll know the truth (from God's Word), and
        that truth (when you do it), will make you free."

        HUSBANDS ARE TO LEAD THEIR WIVES.

        Ephesians 5:22
          "Wives be subject to your own husband, as to the Lord."

          (The husband is to be as the Lord to his wife.)

        Ephesians 5:23
          "For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head
          of the church, He Himself being the Saviour of the body."

        Ephesians 5:24
          "But as the church is subject to Christ,  so also the wives ought to
          be to their husbands in everything."

          (The  husband is to lovingly lead his wife even as  Christ  lovingly
          leads the church.)

        Ephesians 5:25
          "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and
          gave Himself up for her."

          (A  husband must die to all of his selfishness if he is ever to love
          his  wife  as Christ does the church.   Have you ever died  to  your
          selfishness?)
          Note.   The Greek for love in this text is "AGAPO", meaning "to WILL
          to LOVE."

        HUSBANDS ARE TO "AGAPO" THEIR WIVES.

        1 Corinthians 13:4 (LB)
          "Love is very patient..."

          Are you?   What happens when your wife goes shopping and you have to
          wait for her?

        1 Corinthians 13:4 (LB)
          "...and kind..."

          Are  you?   Are you kind in the remarks you make to and  about  your
          wife?
          "Kind"  also means "considerate."  Are you considerate of your wife?
          If  for  any  reason you know you're going to be  later  than  she's
          expecting you,  do you phone her as soon as you know you're going to
          be late so that the dinner won't be cold when you get home?

        1 Corinthians 13:4 (LB)
          "...never jealous..."

          Love  is never jealous.   It doesn't envy the position the wife  has
          with the kids, but encourages closeness between Mum and children and
          works to bring closeness into the relationship between Dad and kids,
          too.

        1 Corinthians 13:4 (LB)
          "...never envious..."

          It  doesn't say,  "Well,  if I were a wife and could just sit around
          the house all day, I wouldn't  complain!"  That very statement shows
          envy,  and it also shows that the one saying it doesn't have a  clue
          about how hard it is to do routine housework constantly.

        1 Corinthians 13:4 (LB)
          "...never boastful..."

          That  doesn't  mean that the husband won't brag about  his  wife--he
          will!   The word "boastful" here really means "loud-mouthed", always
          telling  the  family  about "all I've done for you!"   Or  it  means
          telling the wife, "If you worked half as hard as I do!"
          "Agape"  love  knows  she does work  hard.   Comparisons  are  never
          necessary, nor are they Christian.

        1 Corinthians 13:4 (LB)
          "...never proud..."

          Pride  is  the kind of vanity that says,  "The world should  revolve
          around me.   My wife should do everything for me and feel lucky that
          she can!"  That kind of thinking is utter selfishness,  caring  only
          about yourself.

        1 Corinthians 13:5
          "...never haughty or selfish or rude..."

          These  words  are  very  close in meaning and describe the  man  who
          always has what he thinks is the "cute" remark that cuts deeply into
          his wife as a person.   This problem of haughtiness and rudeness  is
          more  subtle than you might think.   Some men honestly think they're
          saying the right thing to their wife,  when in actual fact, they are
          saying  the wrong thing.   For a real lesson in how and how  not  to
          speak,  read  the  excellent book,  "Forever My Love",  by  Margaret
          Hardisty.   Master  pages two and three of this gifted woman's  book
          and you'll overcome haughtiness and rudeness.

        1 Corinthians 13:5 (LB)
          "...love doesn't demand its own way..."

          Is your idea of "head of the house" a master-slave relationship?  Do
          you think that when you say,  "JUMP!",  your wife ought to ask, "How
          High?",  while she's already in the air?   Do you consider her  way,
          too,  in the decisions that you make?  Not that you shouldn't be the
          leader,  but are you loving your wife and listening to her thoughts,
          too, and weighing them as you make decisions, seeking her advice and
          counsel.

        1 Corinthians 13:5 (LB)
          "...love is not irritable or touchy..."

          Are  you?   How  do you speak to your wife when she interrupts  your
          point of concentration?   Does your temper explode?   Or do you give
          her  the attention a wife deserves?   Are you irritable and  touchy,
          using  words like,  "Shut up!" or are you "Agape" loving your  wife?
          (Remember, looks can kill, too!)

        1 Corinthians 13:5 (LB)
          "...love  doesn't  hold  grudges and will hardly  even  notice  when
          others do it wrong..."

          So if you "love" your wife as God has commanded you to do, you can't
          remember  a  long string of things your wife has done  that  deserve
          your  anger and bitterness.   You've  learned,  instead,  that  love
          includes forgiving and forgetting.

        1 Corinthians 13:6 (LB)
          "Love  is  never glad about injustice,  but rejoices whenever  truth
          wins out."

          So,  you'll never laugh if your wife is treated unfairly or secretly
          smirk if she is hurting in any way.   You will lead her in the  Lord
          because  you'll  follow  the  truth  even at  times  she  might  not
          understand,  but  you  won't  be unfair to her  and  use  even  your
          Christian  commitment  as an excuse.   If you love your wife  as  a
          Christian husband must,  you will be loyal to her no matter what the
          cost  and you won't trade your wife in on a newer or more  beautiful
          model!   Nor  will money,  your job,  popularity or any  other thing
          replace her in your life.  You will never cheat on her in any way.

        1 Corinthians 13:7 (LB)
          "You will always believe in her, always expect the best of her."

          You'll  do this knowing that if she fails you at any time she'll  do
          better next time because you'll be praying for her.

        1 Corinthians 13:7 (LB)
          "...and always stand your ground in defending her."

          The  kids will never be sassy with her without a  spanking.   Rather
          than talking about her faults,  he nor anyone else,  will be allowed
          to  do that.   He won't talk himself into not liking his  wife,  but
          believe  God will fully take care of every situation and to  "agape"
          her.

        GOD'S DEFINITE CHAIN OF COMMAND FOR THE CHRISTIAN HOME.

        1 Corinthians 11:3
          "But  I want you to understand that Christ is the head of every  man
          and the man is the head of a woman and God is the head of Christ."

          GOD THE FATHER IS THE AUTHORITY OF GOD THE SON, WHO IS THE AUTHORITY
          OF  THE HUSBAND,  WHO IS THE AUTHORITY OF THE WIFE,  WHO,  WITH  HIS
          DIRECTION,  IS  THE JOINT-AUTHORITY OF THE CHILDREN,  AND  THE  HOLY
          SPIRIT CEMENTS ALL OF THESE RELATIONSHIPS TOGETHER.

        Matthew 8:5-10
          "And  when he entered Capernaum,  a centurion came to Him entreating
          Him  and  saying,  'Sir,  my  servant is lying  paralyzed  at  home,
          suffering  great pain.'  And He said to him,  'I will come and  heal
          him.'   But  the  centurion answered  and  said,  'Lord,  I  am  not
          qualified  for you to come under my roof,  but just say the word and
          my servant will be healed.  For I too am a man under authority, with
          soldiers  under me and I say to this one,  'Go',  and he  goes,  and
          another,  'Come',  and he comes,  and to my slave, 'Do this!' and he
          does it.   Now when Jesus heard this, He marvelled and said to those
          who were following, 'Truly I say to you, I have not found such great
          faith with anyone in Israel.'"

        Notice the words of the centurion in Matthew 8:9--"For I too, am a man
        under authority..."  The centurion reasoned,  "Jesus, you're under the
        authority  of your Father.   That's why you  have  authority.   Anyone
        challenging  your  authority for doing what you're doing will have  to
        answer to God,  the Father,  who told you to do it.   In the same way,
        when  I  am  under the authority of Caesar,  then  I  have  authority.
        Anyone challenging my authority will have to answer to Caesar who told
        me to do whatever I'm doing.   Any wife should be able to say,  "I  am
        under  the authority of my husband.   Anyone challenging my  authority
        for doing what I'm doing will have to answer to my husband who told me
        to  do  it."   Any  husband should be able to say,  "I  am  under  the
        authority  of  both the living and the written Word  of  God.   Anyone
        challenging my authority for doing what I'm doing will have to  answer
        to the Lord who told me to do it."

        REMEMBER:   The only thing that God saw that "was not good" before the
        fall  was  that  it was not good for man to be alone  (Genesis  2:18).
        That means that as God created man, there was so much potential in him
        that  there  was more in him than he could realize as long as  he  was
        alone.  Every man needs his wife--desperately--to be one with him--and
        she needs that, too.

        Marriage is two in one--different responsibilities, but totally one in
        purpose.  It's not, "I've got to be ME!" for the Christians, but it's,
        "I've got to be, 'CHRIST IN ME THE HOPE OF GLORY!'" (Colossians 1:27).
        C.S. Lewis put it well, "PRACTICE BECOMING THE PERSON THAT YOU WANT TO
        BE."  For when all is said and done, the greatest single purpose for a
        marriage  is to prove as a witness that Jesus Christ is Lord  and  His
        Word is true.

                               END of STUDY FIVE